Compulsions, habits, lusts, drives, desires, indulgences, appeals, fascinations or attractions…it doesn’t matter what you call it. We all have them those things that make us feel like we can’t exist without them. Like Joseph we are caught daily in the web of event that demands our opinion on-the-spot. I’ve come to tell you, there are huge benefits to us in enhancing our capacity and comfort with “no” when need be. We considered the following in the last edition ;
1. Our ability and capacity to say “no” with confidence is one of the most important aspects of creating peace and power in our lives. This is about creating healthy boundaries, honoring ourselves, and being real — it’s not about being closed, cynical, or unwilling. When we’re someone that says “yes” when we mean it and “no” when we mean it — others know they can count on us to be real, tell the truth, and come through.
2. Saying “no” with honesty and kindness is also helps to control stress, struggle, or conflict, in our lives and relationship. When we don’t say “no” in an authentic way we end up feeling burdened, resentful, and even victimized (although, ironically, we forget that we are the ones who said “yes” in the first place).
3. And, when we “no” with confidence, honesty, and compassion, we do one of the best things we can possibly do to honor and appreciate ourselves.
There are basically three forms of NO, the Unassertive, the Aggressive, and the Assertive. And of these three the best is Assertive. While the unassertive “No” is not sensible, an aggressive “No” could be an option when assertive “No” isn’t working. But it important we discuss effective strategies that make the assertive “No” easier and effectual.
Firstly, when someone makes a request, it is always ok to ask for time to think it over. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you.
Secondly, Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the “No.” Make sure that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person’s eyes as you say, “No.” Shake your head “No,” as you say, “No”.
Thirdly, if you say, “Yes,” when you want to say, “No,” you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, “No” when you need to.
Fourthly, if you are saying, “No,” to someone whom you would help under different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes to the doctor, you might say, “No, Susie, I can’t keep Billie for you. I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but I have already made lunch plans and I won’t be able to help you.
Lastly, start your sentence with the word, “No.” It’s easier to keep the commitment to say, “No,” if it’s the first word out of your mouth.
Remember that “No,” is an honorable response; if you decide that “No” is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and honest for you to say, “No. Let’s look at some daily practical ways you can practice saying, “No,” so that it comes more naturally to you, when you need it the most. Say “No”
To the television who disturbs your reading;
To the ” BUY 3, TAKE 1 FREE” adverts on that store;
To your friends who carelessly ask for your time;
To one extra hour of sleeping;
To the marketer who wants you to try on the shirts;
To eating excessively;
To impulse purchases;
To that time consuming seasonal movie;
To pornographic clips;
To a company of unruly friends;
To sensual touch and gestures;
Say NO to Life Wasters…they come as activities and people. May I use this this opportunity to invite you to
IMPACT WORKSHOP – March Episode. (Saturday, 8/03/14) 10 a.m.
Theme: Your TIME or Your LIFE (…a 120 Minutes summit on Time Management and life Maximazation)…don’t miss it for your Good. @ Cooperative Hall Beside General Hospital Oye-Ekiti.
Make it a project to say, “No” to something every day and when you do, notice it and give yourself credit for practicing saying such an important two letter word. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Phil.: 4:8)