Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? Where are you living? What are you doing? Is your spouse with you? Sometimes it’s a good idea to take a step back from reality and get a picture of your future and imagine what you will be doing and setting goals of how you can get there. I’m not talking about retirement or living in a newer more modern home. I’m talking about relationships. After all, that is the only thing that will last in our lives; the people who we’ve known and blessed and the people who have known and blessed us.
If we are having conflict or troubles with our relationships right now, how do you think it will be years from now. The problems can’t fix themselves. Relationships can’t fix themselves. There has to be an initiator. When we are in the tide pool of a messy relationship we each secretly wish that the other would give in and apologize and then everything will be fixed.
Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as that. If you want something to last, you have to be willing to sacrifice every single day to make it last. God commands that we “take up our cross” and “bear with one another in love” (Luke 9:23, Eph. 4:2, Col. 3:13). This means that we must be the ones to die to self first and lay our desires and emotions on the altar of faith. We must put to death our justified rights, just as Jesus did, so that our love and our marriage will continue into eternity.
If you feel that you don’t even want to pursue a relationship with your spouse anymore but know that it is the right thing, all you need to do is pray.
“In all states of dilemma or of difficulty, prayer is an available source. The ship of prayer may sail through all temptations, doubts and fears, straight up to the throne of God; and though she may be outward bound with only griefs, and groans, and sighs, she shall return freighted with a wealth of blessings!” -Charles Spurgeon
Pray that God would give you the willingness to want to pursue a lasting relationship with your spouse. You may feel hurt, or lonely, or crushed, and you feel that your spouse doesn’t even deserve your perseverance for your relationship-but Jesus has felt the exact same way about you. But He said “Not my will, Father, but Your will be done in me” (Luke 22:42).
If, 10 years from now you want to see your marriage thriving, your children happy, and your heart bursting with joy and the fullness of life, then there is no better day than today to start working towards that goal. Lift your head in confidence and assurance that God will bring to pass that which you fervently strive and pray for. He desires the best for you; He has your happiness in mind. When your dreams and desires match up with God’s plan for your life that is outlined in His word, they will become a reality.
There are many resources out there designed to help married couples but my book and free marriage counseling has proven to be an immense blessing to hundreds of couples. You can contact me and we will begin immediately. I want to help you achieve far more than 50 years of wedded bliss. I want you to have the marriage that God intended for you when He was writing your love story before time began.
“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.” Hosea 2:19